The Aftermath
by EliOD
Summary: After the events of 4x16 ("A") Carl is still shaken up about it and, although he won't admit it, he needs help coping. How will the group react to this kind of information and possibly seeing Carl's cold exterior wall break down? Not only does Carl have to deal with the aftermath of that event but also coming to terms with his sexuality. Warnings: Mention of rape and swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**This is set during the last episode of season 4 (Episode "A") and continues into season 5. It's mainly going to be from Carl's point of view but if it changes I'll make it obvious :)**

**This follows the story of the episodes but I am going to change conversations, some events etc to fit my storyline better :D**

**...**

I can't rap my mind around what just happened... there were hands... EVERYWHERE... it didn't feel right and they wouldn't stop... I feel so... powerless. I'm always in control but for the short period of time _he _was all over me... I had no say about what was going on and... And... I don't know. One minute I'm asleep in a car we found at the side of the road and the next I'm being fondled by some creep who has... or had something against my dad.

Michonne said he was sick prev and although my vocabulary isn't that wide I can guess this isn't a good thing.

I hate thinking about it... All I can remember is being shoved to the ground and then a sharp pain all the way through my body and it didn't stop even after my dad decided to mimic a walker and take a massive bite out of that guys neck, sure he slowed down but his constant thrusting didn't stop until he realised his life was at risk- that's when he pulled his knife on me.

I know what he was doing, I'm not stupid.

I hate the looks I'm getting from my dad, Michonne and even Daryl. Even when I have my eyes closed I can feel their stare burning into my skull, I can feel their sympathy. They're treating me like some poor defenceless kid and I hate it.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Michonne puts a hand on shoulder letting me know that it's time to go. As I get up from sitting near where the fire had been the night before I feel the pain up my spin again and it causes me to limp which gains me _another _sympathetic smile from her. I pick up my ruck sack and rest my hat on my head.

_A few hours later _

We've been walking for a while now and dad said he thinks that we're not too far from Terminus, about half an hour maybe. I had almost completely forgotten about last night until I seen dads face again... even though he's washed off most of the blood I can still see the remaining blotches of red stuck in his beard and I can feel tears starting to fill my eyes so I blink them away.

It seems like we're going to make it to Terminus sooner than we thought because by the time I've cleared my head I can see the metal wall surrounding the building not 40 feet in front of me. Dad and Daryl go off to do whatever while I go for a walk with Michonne around the perimeter of the fence, to be honest, I really don't want to walk with her because I know the only thing she's going to want to talk about it last night same thing she wanted to talk about _last night_ and I'm just not in the mood but Michonne is pretty persistent.

"So, how you doing?" She puts her arm around me for a second but when she notices how uncomfortable I am she moves it away.

"I've been better" I don't want to lie to her but I hope she doesn't push for more information.

"Want to talk about it?" The thought of talking about the incident isn't exactly an appealing one. When I don't answer she takes it upon herself to continue the conversation "You know... it wasn't your fault... that guy... he was a sick, evil bastard and after what he did to you..." She sort of trails off there, I think she realises that I'm only half listening and I'm not exactly loving this topic.

She pulls me into another short hug just before my dad and Daryl walk into our line of sight.

"We buried a bag of weapons not far from here just in case things go south." I think Dad's learned that we shouldn't be as quick to trust people. "You guys ready to go?" I nod and we start to head to the metal boarders of the camp. Michonne and Daryl are over first and when they say the coast is clear my Dad gives me a hand over and then he climbs over himself.

When we walk into the building I can hear a woman's voice beaming throughout the halls "Those who arrive survive. Terminus. Sanctuary for all-" she stops when she sees us standing in the door way and a man with dirty brown hair walks toward where we are standing and he doesn't look pleased "You here to rob us?"

"No" Dad's the first to speak. "We wanted to see you before you seen us"

The man chuckles "fair enough... You lookin' for sanctuary?"

"Yes" He sounds so desperate

"Well you've come to the right place. I'm Gareth and welcome to Terminus" He takes a few steps forward and a man from behind him stands almost directly in front of Michonne. "Now, if you could drop your weapon and stand with your hand out, by your side." None of us move but I watch Dad with a careful eye. Gareth sighs "I hope you know that we're not like that but we're not stupid either so we're not taking any risks." Nothing happens for a second then dad puts his gun and knife down on the ground in front of him and the rest of us follow suit.

I see the guy, who was standing in front of Michonne, now patting down Daryl. "I'd hate to see the other guy" He jokes.

"You would." He's deadly serious and I don't blame him, he took quite a beating. The guy then moves onto Michonne and when he gets to me I can't help but flinch, being reminded of the events of last night. "Did he deserve it?" He seems curious but also as if he's just asking to make conversation.

"Yes." I notice Dad look at me with concern but I just try and ignore it because I'm not lying every one of those Assholes deserved what they got.

After they searched us all they gave us our weapons back and took us to where we could get something to eat. I kind of zone out, wanting nothing more that to devour every last crumb of food on that plate but the next thing I know Dad's slamming the paper plate out of my hands and he has his gun out with a guy pressed against his body, I have no idea what's going on but I have my gun out scanning the place for a potential target.

_Fast forward_

So... to sum up the last ten minutes... we were shot at by some cannibals and locked in a box like a bunch of rats.

I hear a noise.

"Rick?" I know that voice... is that Glenn? As the figure comes out of the shadows I realise it is and he's not alone! Maggie's here with Sasha and Bob and some other people that I don't recognise.

"Don't worry, they're friends"

"A friend o' yours is a friend o' mine" Daryl says walking toward the group before us.

I feel Dad's presence behind me when he puts his hand on my back and gives me a nod before following Daryl and now Michonne to the as of yet unfamiliar people.

...

After spending the past hour or so in here with these people they seem friendly enough but I don't think I can trust them... not after... what happened.

**So that's a rap for tonight :) I know it's not great but I had the idea and I couldn't get to sleep so I had to write it down ^.^ Anyways if you guys want me to continue this story basically it is mainly going to focus on how Carl deals with the events of 4x16 and I was considering adding in a couple OC's (Some of which would be Carl's age) and someone who was there that night telling them about it so they can be almost like a shoulder to cry on for Carl as nobody that he currently knows seems to be able to get him to open up.**

**BUT I feel like I kind of want the group to find out... and see how they would react to that kind of information and possibly to seeing Carl just break down O.o Hmmm? **

**Anyways... feel free to leave me suggestions and comments etc either though PM or whatever else :) **

**-Eli **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi hello :) So again this was written when I should be in bed... I'm not very good at this... Honestly if I don't want my writing to be crappy then wouldn't it be a better idea to write these during the day?!**

**Anyways... thank you for the lovely reviews, favourites etc they REALLY encourage me to keep writing XD I hope you're enjoying this so far and that you continue to ^.^**

**After re-watching some season 3 episodes I remembered that Maggie was almost assaulted while in Woodberry and I thought it might be cool to have her (And possibly Glenn) talk to Carl about his situation. **

**...**

I think I found out something new about myself today... I'm claustrophobic

We've been here for about 6, maybe 7, hours now... I honestly don't know because none of us have a watch or anything. I'm already getting tired of being in this box, it's so boring! I know that probably not our main concern, you know being held captive by a bunch of lunatics and all but Dad's came up with a plan to get us out of here but he won't let me help! He said I need to "rest" and "take it easy" after what happened URG He's treating me like such a kid again and I hate it! In case he's forgotten, I was the one who looked after BOTH of us not that long ago and we're both fine!

I decide that no matter how badly I want to help Dad's not going to let me so... I decide to go to sleep for a while see if that helps to ease my boredom.

...

_Everything's dark, too dark for me to see well, I can barely make out the shapes in front of me before I feel grubby hands around the waist band of my jeans. I want to scream but... nothing comes out. I see Dad, Michonne and Daryl all lined up with guns pointed at their heads._

_I want to help them but there's nothing I can do! By this point I hadn't realised my attacker had worked his way around my shirt leaving me in only a slightly mucky, white t-shirt and my jeans around my knees. Before I know it, I can hear his belt buckle clink and I know exactly what's coming... As he starts to force himself on me I..._

...

I jolt awake; breathing heavily hoping no-one can hear or see me, as I brush my hand over my forehead I feel the sweat and my damp hair clinging to my skin.

I notice that just about everyone is asleep apart from Dad, Maggie, Daryl, Glenn (But he looks like he's about to zone out any minute now) and possibly one of the new guys I don't know the name of... he looks about my age but it's hard to tell for sure in this light, which is also the reason I can't tell if he's awake or not but to be honest... I don't really care. Another thing I take notice of is how much Maggie and Dad are looking at me and then something dawns on me, _did he tell her? _I mean it's not that big a deal... I got away, nothing that severe happened so what does it matter? Even though I've reminded myself of this I can't help but feel... embarrassed and I just want to curl into a little ball when Maggie starts to walk over from the other side of the cart.

I pull my hat further onto my head when she gets closer and all I can do is hope that she doesn't bring it up but... with my luck, it's going to happen no matter what.

As she slides down the wall next to me she puts her arm out so it's drooped over my shoulders, and I flinch... why do I keep doing that!?

A small part of me, and I mean a small part, answers with the idea of last night's events happening again- even though I trust Maggie and I know she would never do anything like that... would she?

"Hey champ" She snaps me out of my thoughts. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, why?" _Sly_

"No reason..." We're quiet for a moment before she continues. "Look, Carl, your Daddy told me what happened to you when the group of men attacked you guys and I just want you to know... it's nothing to be ashamed of" She sounds like Michonne "And I also know that you're going to be a bit shaken for a while... but you'll come back around sooner or later... that's what happened to me" _What?_

She notices my confusion, so she elaborates "While... while Glenn and I were being held by the Governor... I had a close call, not a severe as you- mind, but I didn't know what to do with myself after. I always had this feeling of constant anxiety that it was going to happen again"...

I knew exactly what she was talking about. "...does that feeling... ever... go away?"

She sort of smiles before brushing her hand through her messy hair "Yes and no... It's not constant anymore. I feel safe around other people again but after that day I'm always... alert because one thing I know for sure is... I'm not letting that happen again" I nod at her before she takes her leave.

Maggie and I don't always see eye to eye but one thing we can agree on... I'm not letting that happen again.

**...**

**Wow... well that didn't turn out quite how I had originally thought but oh well I hope you guys liked it :) **

**I did want Carl to have kind of a heart to heart with one of the other characters but you know Carl he's stubborn as hell and he's not going to talk about it properly, especially with everyone else around. **

**I was thinking that at least one of the other characters would be kind of mean about Carl's situation so let me know who you think that should be!**

**Also (If I do have Carl getting together with an OC) I was thinking he could maybe have a talk with Tara about sexuality and all that sort of stuff but I don't know whether I should just make it a one short or not...**

**BUT as always feel free to leave a review, idea ect- my PM is always open ^.^ Let me know what you think about my ideas and the story so far.**

**Have a nice evening :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello there :) So this chapter is basically Daryl's reaction to what happened. Also there's a bit of a jump in time since the last chapter; this is based after they have escaped Terminus and they're currently at the Church. **

**Rick gives Daryl the task of looking after Carl (as he had walked outside to get some fresh air) while he speaks with Abraham about the bus.**

**...**

"Carl?"

I'm currently round the back of the Church picking dry grass and playing with it in my hands when I hear Daryl sit beside me.

"What is it?" I didn't mean for it to sound so... rude but I can't help it, it's just the way I am now, cold. And I don't know whether I've gotten better or worse since it happened.

"Nothin', your Dad said you might be out here and I thought it might be a good place to sit while we sort out what's happening next."

I just kind of nod. I presume that it's the end of our conversation and we're just going to sit near each other minding our own business but it starts to feel awkward so I think the best course of action is to make small talk...

"So... your face is healing up pretty well... how's the bruises over your side?" I say as I continue to pick at the dry grass I'm sitting on.

"Yeah, I reckon they'll heal completely in the next couple days... How about you?"

I unconsciously brush my hand against my cheek where the claimers guy had left a scar from pushing me into the ground but as I do so Daryl begins to shake his head.

"No, no I mean... like... emotionally or whatever" It never actually occurred to me that Daryl knew about the "incident" since he was being beaten to an inch of his life 'n' all. I start to get up brushing the grass off the back of my jeans as I go but I feel my upper thigh sting slightly as I do so, I still physically hurt all over but it wasn't as bad as it had been a few days ago.

"Oh... yeah, I'm fine. I mean it's nothing really..." I really hope that's the end of it but I've come to notice, about these people, that they don't really stop digging until they've got the answer they want.

Daryl looks up from where he had previously been looking at the floor and takes his hands out of his back pocket, thrusting them in the air. "Nothing? SERIOUSLY?"

He seems so angry... I don't know what he wants me to tell him! "I-I mean- I don't know-"

"NO, clearly you don't know. He threw you into the dirt and used you for his own enjoyment and when you said no, what did he do?"

"Uh-"

"He held a knife to your throat and forced himself on you!"

I have no idea why he's was getting so mad... I mean it's me who had all this happen to them so shouldn't I be the one getting worked up about it? And to be honest I don't know how I feel about this...

"How could they do that to you?" Daryl was now comes very close to me and this is when I start to feel unsafe... not that I think Daryl would ever do anything like _that _but the idea still remains in my head, the thought of it all happening again terrifies me so when Daryl moves in even closer I flinch and push him away. He steps back but continues in a slightly more calm state "How could you say that was nothing...?" I can tell it's more of a rhetorical question but I still mull over it for a few seconds before I see something move at the side of the Church.

My hand races to my gun holster on my left hip and as I do so Daryl spins round taking out a small pocket knife, I didn't know he had until right now.

"Who's there?" he says being careful not to be too loud so he doesn't gain the attention of nearby walkers.

I see a boy about my age with short-ish brown hair walk out with his hands up.

"Why're you spyin'?"

He takes down his hands, brushing them against his mucky trousers, and walks towards us "I-I didn't mean to ease drop, honest. I was just checking to see if Rick or Abraham needed any help but when they didn't I went for a walk and heard yelling and I didn't want to intrude in case it was personally... which by the sounds of things... it was..." He scratches the back of his head "Look, I'm really sorry I didn't mean-"

Daryl cuts him off by walking away leaving me and the boy who I now recognise as the boy who I thought might have been awake the other night in Terminus. We're quiet for a minute.

"I really am sorry..."

"It's cool..." He goes to walk away but I find myself wanting to talk to him but I think that's probably due to lack of contact with someone my age since... well since Sophia. "Carl." I say almost randomly but it gets his attention.

He smirks "What...?"

"My name... its Carl..."

"Cameron" He says with a smile and he holds out his hand and I can honestly say he is the only person I know who still introduces themselves with a hand shake but it makes me smile so I take his hand anyway.

"How old are you?" I don't usually take much interest in other people but if I don't talk to him what else am I going to do? Sit and pick at the grass?

"Fifteen, I think... I haven't really been keeping track of the date. You..?"

So I was right he's roughly a year older than me "fourteen." I have no idea what else to say and I suddenly feel really anxious and my hands are sweating and it feels like forever since anyone said anything dammit what am I going to say?! My miniature freak-out it cut short by Cameron asking me a question.

"So how long were you in Terminus for before you were chucked into the shipping boxes?"

"5 minutes, literally, when we got there they patted us down for any hidden weapons; took us to get something to eat and then that's when everything kicked off." I scratch the back of my head. _Why am I so nervous? _"You?"

"It wasn't as exciting as your story but... We'd been there for a day or two before they ambushed us during the night and when I woke up I had a splitting headache and no idea where I was." I let out a little chuckle and smile while readjusting my hat, we go silent again.

"So... what were you talking about before?"

**...**

**THAT IS ME DONE FOR THIS EVENING. I hoped you enjoy it :)**

**QUESTIONS:**

**-Is there anyone in particular you want to find out about what happened to Carl?  
>-What do you think of Cameron? Is he to be trusted? <strong>

**As always leave a comment (constructive criticism is encouraged) and feel free to PM me at anytime with ideas, concerns or just in general you want a chat ^_^**

**-Eli**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey :) So it's been a while since I've updated this... sorry... well if anyone actually still wants to read my story... **

**Thank you to:**

Samie TW-1D-Merlin-RotG- **Thank you for the idea ^_^ I'm going to try and work it into a further chapter as Daryl's already walked away :/ But I do like the idea :) thanks again**

**Treehugeer- ****I know! I felt kind of awful writing it... Thanks for your review c:**

**Guest- ****Thanks for your review c:**

**For reviewing the last few chapters ^.^ it is honestly so encouraging and makes my day ^.^ **

**I'm just going to wrap what happened at the end of the last chapter and send the majority of this chapter focusing on Rick and Carl.**

**ANYWAYS! ON WITH THE STORY!**

**...**

"So... what were you talking about before?"

...

Shit... What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I would have just told him we were attacked but Daryl made such a big deal about it I don't know whether I should say or not... what if I did something wrong? Maybe that's why he's so mad! Crap... I don't know what to think... What would Cameron think if I told him? Would he leave? He can't leave! We've- We've only just met! Is it just me or is it really hot out today?!

I feel a hand on my arm, when I turn round I notice it's Cameron and I begin to blush.

He takes his hand away and I suddenly miss the warmth of his touch. "Are you okay?" I hear him say.

"Erm... yeah- yeah. Sorry I don't know what happened... Hah..." _Why am I being so awkward?!_

He smiles and I a little dimple on his left cheek "It's cool, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You don't have to tell me what happened or anything, we only just met an' I get why you might not want to trust m-"

"NO! No... I do... It's..." I turn so I'm standing in front of him instead of at his side and take a deep breath "Look... while we were out there... alone... we were attacked by some people that Daryl was with at the time and he took it hard when they... hurt us. He almost died because of it..."

I'm looking down at this point but I feel the warmth return to my bicep and the blood rush to my face again. "Well at least you guys are alright now..." I can tell he really doesn't know what to say at this point and to be honest... neither do I... so I'm kind of relieved when I see Dad coming round the corner to meet us.

I look over at Cameron before walking over to Dad. I want to see if we can talk, usually I wouldn't do this but I feel like if I ask Daryl anything he'll blow up in my face again and Michonne keeps looking at me like I'm some broken toy and I hate it. I was considering talking to Cameron but I always feel awkward in front of him so I don't want to send any more time with him than I have to... despite simultaneously wanting to spend as much time as possible with him...

"Hey Dad, need any help?"

"No, I think we're just going to finish up for the day anyway. You alright?"

I look over my shoulder to double check that Cameron wasn't still standing with us and he wasn't, when I turned back I noticed him slink through the front doors of the church so Dad and I are pretty much alone other than Abraham and Rosita not 10 feet away from us. "Yeah, I'm fine... but I was wondering if we could talk... in private."

He nods before making his way into the back room of the church. I watch as he rests on the desk in the centre of the room while wiping some sweat off of his forehead, as he does this I pull a stray seat closer to him so we're not sitting a mile apart. "So... What did you want to talk about?"

The realisation of how weird this is going to sound suddenly came to me... _Fuck it_. " Well... I was just thinking about the other night... when we found Daryl again..."

He froze, but only for a second before urging me to continue.

"I was just wondering... Did I do something wrong?"

"What would make you think that?" He seems taken back by this.

"It's just... earlier when I was talking to Daryl he asked me how I was feeling like... "emotionally" and when I said it was nothing he like... blew up... started shoutin' at me sayin' that I shouldn't be sayin' it was nothing and I'm confused..." I pause and repeat my previous question "Did I do something wrong?"

Dad repositions himself and rubs his face again "No... you didn't do anything wrong... it's just... before... 'this'... happened... the thing that happened to you... would have been reported to the police and the person who did it would have gotten what they deserved, a life time in a metal cell."

"Dad... what did happen to me?" I know it was bad but to be honest I don't actually know what happened... all I know is I wanted it to stop but I don't think Dad was expecting me to ask that.

He was quiet for a long time before he finally said anything "It's a thing called..." He gulps "...rape... it's where somebody forces themselves on another person... sexually... without their consent..."

"Did it happen a lot?"

"...More than it should've"

We go quiet again. "Can I ask you something else?" He looks at me strangely before nodding.

"Do you ever get... warm... when you're around someone?"

He grins before chuckling a little "Yeah"

"And... do you get nervous around them? And it makes you want to be as far away from them as possible but at the same time... you just want to be close to them?"

He laughs again "Yeah"

"When?"

He sighs but it's a happy sigh... I think... "When I first met your mother she made me want to run for the hills every time I laid an eye on her but I wanted to get to know her and be near her..."

"So what does it mean?"

He laughs again. I don't see what's so funny about this situation!? "It means..." He stands up getting ready to leave "You have a crush."

After Dad left I slumped back in my chair... _Now that I was not expecting... _

**...**

**You've reached the end of this chapter, hopefully you enjoyed it and didn't want to rip your eyes out in disgust ^.^ **

**Anyways please review and stuff as it really does keep me motivated... even if you think I should stop writing or change somethings, feel free to tell me ^.^ Constructive critisism is excepted as well as any suggestions and any other comments :)**

**Enjoy your evening ^_^**

**-Eli **


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry I took so long to update this... I just kind of started to hate my own writing... anyways **** on a happier note I have a feeling that I'm going to be updating a lot more regularly XD**

Samie TW-1D-Merlin-RotG- **THANK YOU :D**

Harmony4Life1- **Thank you for your review **** And I can understand where you're coming from with the idea of it being OOC for Carl but I just feel that his sexuality was never really discussed other than a slight crush on Beth for a while and since he's growing up during the apocalypse I thought it might be good to have him... discover himself per say **

thewalkerinme- **Thank you **** I was going for the whole awkward teenager side since it's something that we've not seen much, if any, of in the series **

**READ- Also in this chapter there's a bit of a time jump of about 3/4 days **

**...**

Carl's POV

_ I'm sitting in one of the pews eating dinner when I feel someone sit down in the seat next me. __Shit. __It's Cameron... I hadn't been ignoring him... just-ugh- I don't know... when dad told me it sounded like I had a crush, I thought it might be a good idea to... avoid Cameron for a while... Just until I could figure this whole thing out, you know? I'm not exactly a people person as it is and adding all this awkward in isn't exactly helping._

_"Hey" _

_"Hey" He smiles and I get this feeling in my stomach... these bubbles or something. "I haven't seen you in a while."_

_"Yeah, I've been helping my dad with some stuff." _

_"Ahh..." _

_I don't understand how just talking to someone can be this difficult. I quietly nibble on my portion of beans while the room is quickly being filled with an awkward silence until he speaks up again "Do you know who's on watch tonight?"_

"Yeah it's me, why?" with Glenn and his group have left and so has dad and his group so there aren't many people left at the church, just me, Michonne, Judith, Father Gabriel, Cameron and the others that came with us after we left Terminus: Kate, Andrew and Kieran (Who's Cameron's older brother-aged 17) which means there's not many people who can be on watch.

"Just wondered... want some company? It's cool if you don't- I mean I just wondered in case you got bored or whatever and-"

I put a hand on his shoulder to shut him up "Yeah, sure." He smiles and we continue our conversation with some small talk and random comments about our current living arrangements.

While talking I notice how bright his eyes are... they're just so green and vibrant... And his accent... British... _what?_

I'm so caught up in what I just said I barely hear someone else come into the room "Carl?" It's Michonne.

"Yeah?" I turn around to meet her eyes.

"It's time for you to go on watch."

I look outside and notice how dark it is, how long have we been sitting here talking? "Alright, I'll be out in a minute." She nods before walking to the back room of the church where Father Gabriel is. I stand up, checking my gun is still in its holster, and head toward the front doors of the Church while Cameron follows suit.

I close the front doors and we sit on the steps leaning against the wooden barrier along both sides of the stairs- Cameron on the left and me on the right.

After being interrupted by Michonne we've reverted back to our awkward silence from before until he breaks it "So how olds Judith?"

"Just under a year"

He smiles at me "She's really cute, looks like you" _Did he just call me cute? __**No, he called Judith cute. **__Yeah but- never mind. _"If you don't mind me asking... What happened to your mum?"

I take a deep breath "She died. While she was giving birth to Judith she needed to get a c-section 'cause she couldn't give birth normally or somethin' and after Maggie her open to get Judy out, mom was bleeding out and... she was going to turn so... we-I had to... deal with her."

He's quiet for a second "What was her name?"

"Lori" He just smiles at me and I get these butterflies again, which makes _me_ smile. "It's just you and your brother, Kieran, right?" He nods "How'd that happen?"

"Well I'd only been here... a little over 6 months before it all happened... We moved 'cause my dad got a job offer and then one day while we were at school- there was alarms and peoples rushing about so I went to find Kieran and then ran home. When we got there... there were people lying, dead in our front garden and all our windows were smashed... we stayed out in the shed for a day or two before we had to leave... never found out what happened to my dad..." He looks down at his feet, awkwardly.

"...What happened to your mom?"

"Oh, she died when I was younger. Cancer."

I nod "So were you always alone before Kate and Andrew?"

Cameron shook his head "We were with Kieran's girlfriend, Rebecca, for a while before we got separated and the next time we seen her she was a fleshie."

I laugh at that "A fleshie?" Now he's laughing too.

"Yeah! What do you call them?" He smiles.

"Walkers. Fleshies sounds so... happy"

"I know right? Don't blame me, it was Rebecca that came up with it."

I know his brother had a Girlfriend and I was going to ask about Cameron's love life but I don't know if that'd be inappropriate... _fuck it_ "So... I know about Rebecca... but what about you? Have you ever had a Girlfriend?"

He looks a little uncomfortable "No... I'm ugh- gay... ha..." He rubs the back of his neck and avoids eye-contact.

"Gay?"

"...Yeah..."

"Oh, okay... I still don't know what that is..."

He laughs a little "It's when a guy likes other guy... Hasn't your dad had the talk with you yet?" He looks at me strangely.

"Pfft-yes." He raises his eye-brows "Sort of... Not- fully... like he told me that to make a baby a man and a woman had to... intimate but that was about it to be honest"

He sits back a bit "Well that's understandable, you were only 12 when all this happened." He has a smug look on his face. "YOU WERE ONLY 13!" I watch my volume as to not attract walkers, a lean forward and push his arm. He laughs "Wanker!"

"_Wanker" _I mimic his accent "_Wanker" _

"Hey, knock it off, ya prick!"

We're both laughing now "_Prick, prick, wanker"_ it's quiet. "So... Have you ever had a Boyfriend then?"

"Uh... no, nobody was really out when I was back home and when I came here I didn't really know anybody so I never got the... opportunity, I guess..."

No-one's talking, it's silent but not an awkward silence, a comfortable on. _So he likes other guys, eh? Like you... __**So? **__And you like him... __**So? **__He could like you... __**Shut up, no he doesn't... right? **_

**...Cameron's POV (+ a time jump of about half an hour)...**

Carl looks frustrated... come to think of it... he's been like that for a while now, I wonder what it is he's thinking about.

"You alright, Carl?"

He looks up at me "Hu? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

I scootch a bit closer to him "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Just... debating..."

"About?"

He looks at me with his head tilted slightly in my direction and then moves closer to me, our legs are almost touching now.

I'm looking into his bright blue eyes and he's looking back at my green ones. I hear his breath hitch and I see him move in closer to me and- then he moves back, rubbing his eyes.

"I-uh-I just couldn't figure out what part of Britain you're from- ha..."

_Hu..._

...

**So erm this is a chapter... I'm not quite sure how I feel about the middle of this story but I actually quite like the end... **** Tell me what you think, reviews are appreciated and encourage me to write quicker ^.^ If you want me to continue that is... anyways... **

**If you have any ideas or suggestions then feel free to leave them in the review section ^.^ Also for those of you who are purely here for the groups reaction to Carl's assault I will be writing it into a chapter soon, I just didn't know how to work it in... **

**GOOOOD BYE **

**-Eli **


	6. Chapter 6

**Update: I accidentally used the name Oliver during this chapter instead of Cameron... (because I was reading the fantastic Story "Stale M&M's Carlx OMC" by thewalkerinme and I got the names mixed up...) I've changed it now but if I've missed some sorry... **

** This chapter is set the day after Carl and Cameron's conversation in the last chapter.**

**I've changed some small things from the TV show (**_**eg. The church isn't boarded up all of the time but they do lock the doors when everyone is inside and Carl didn't give Father Gabriel the knife, Michonne did, because he was on watch.**_**) **

**Reply(s): **

**thewalkerinme- ****Thank you so much :D I honestly probably wouldn't have updated if it wasn't for you... Thomas Brodie-Sangster? I love him! It was originally based on a boy from my drama class who may or may not be one of the most attractive people I've ever laid eyes on... BUT I can totally see it as Newt and I love that **** x**

Cameron's POV

Carl's just sitting over by the alter in the church, he's been acting strange for a while... _did I say something?_ I don't think I did... But he did just find out I'm gay... _Is he uncomfortable around me? Should I talk to him?_ I'm brought out of my thoughts by Kieran, my brother, taping my shoulder "Hey, you doing okay?"

I rub a hand over my face before breathing deeply "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired. You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Where've you been hiding?" We're now sitting on some rocks near the front of the church.

"Ha, I've just been spending time with Carl"

I feel Kieran shove my arm "Ooh... How'd that go? Get any action?" I shove him before standing up and dusting myself off "Bugger off, we were just talking!" I'm laughing at how annoying my brother can be sometime.

He's standing up now too "yeah, yeah... first it's talking, then it's hugging and next thing you know you're swapping spit with the guy!" Kieran's tickling me, _God do I hate it when he tickles me._

"What?! No-wai-stop! Kieran-stop!"

Carl's POV 

I hear Cameron laughing outside and I can't help but watch him... _Is that creepy? _Probably...

I'm just sitting inside the church staring at blank walls with Judith wrapped in blankets, sleeping, by my side when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I jump but it's just Father Gabriel. _Why have I been so jumpy lately? _

"Are you alright my boy?" The way he talks is so... I don't know it just makes me feel really comfortable yet on edge at the same time.

"Yeah, fine, just thinking." I don't really know if I want to talk about this with him... I mean it's nothing bad... I guess... I'm just thinking about what dad said about "rape" and Cameron...

"About anything in particular?"

"I just-" I'm cut off by Judith crying so I pick her up and cradle her in my arms, rocking her gently "Shh-shh-shh..." I coo "It's okay... hey, it's okay" she's quietened down a bit but she still she's frustrated and uncomfortable. I'm so caught up in Judith I completely forget about Father Gabriel until he speaks up again. "You're very good with her." He smiles at me and I find myself smiling back, I love it when people talk about Judith... she's like a light in this living hell. " So you were saying?" I was confused for a second before I realised that he was talking about our conversation earlier before Judith woke up.

"I don't know..." I don't make eye contact, I just keep rocking Judith back and forth at a steady pace. "Just like the rape and stuff."

He's silent for a second "I'm sorry... what?"

I sigh a bit- _I should just keep my damn mouth shut, sometimes. _"It's nothing, just before we found everybody after we had to leave the prison... there was this guy... Dan, his group had something against my dad- 'cause he defended himself, and he kept like... touching me... and my dad said it was called rape or whatever..." We're quiet for a second "Should I have not said anything?" I feel so... vulnerable... why did I just tell all of that to Gabriel of all people...

"No, no, child. You didn't do anything wrong, what that _man _did was a sin, you were purely a victim in this situation." I _fucking hate that word. __**victim. **_

I merely nod before placing Judith back on her makeshift bed. I'm just glad that conversation is over... "Carl?" _spoke too soon. _

"Yeah?" I turn back to look at Father Gabriel.

"I fear you still feel like what happened to you was your fault and I just want you to know that it's not, he'll burn for his sins." _How can someone believe in this bullshit? _

"Yeah, I get it, he's a sinner, a rapist, whatever"

"And a homosexual"

I stop for a second "What?"

"I mean it's bad enough a man forcing himself on a woman but on another man... that's just wrong in the eyes of God" I feel like he's babbling...

I want to say something, I mean this guy is talking shit about my friend (not Dan- of course), Cameron. He's not a sinner..., if you believe in that sort of thing... he's one of the nicest people I know... But I don't know what I should say... I've never had to defend anybody for being gay before, _or myself I guess... _"I have to go..." I check Judith is asleep before heading outside. When I look back I see Father Gabriel walking into his office carrying the knife Michonne gave him last night while I was on watch with Cameron. _Cameron... _Why can't I stop thinking about him?! They way I feel around him is the same is what I felt when I was around Beth but more... like more butterflies, more blushing, more... everything and I didn't think anything was wrong with it... _until now... _Fucking, Father Gabriel. Why does he have to be such a dick?! URG!

My head is now resting against the outside wall of the Church and I'm breathing heavily, I suddenly feel a burning pain in my hand _What? _When I look down I realise that I've burst my knuckles but on what? _Oh... _There's a dripping patch of blood on the wall.

"Carl?" I turn around to see Cameron walking towards me with a concerned look on his face "Are you alright? Is that blood...?"

_Shit... _"Uh... yeah, I just got a bit frustrated and hit the wall..." I look down at my hands and whisper "So dumb..."

I look up when I hear him chuckle a little and take my hand "Yeah, it was dumb, punching a wall... who do you think you are? The hulk?"

I laugh at this too and I find myself forgetting about the pain in my right hand "Haha yeah, don't make me angry"

He's laughing again.

_I love his laugh._

**Hey hello how're you? I've not seen you in a while... more like 2 months... but I'm back now and I'm actually pretty happy with this chapter **** I feel like if I'd tried to it earlier it would have come out ****a lot **** crappier than it did ^.^ Anyways reviews are REALLY appreciated and do feel free to leave idea, suggestions and whatever 'cause god knows I need the help... **

**Anyways... Until next time...**

**-Eli**


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